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Ridgebury Prime Winner Articles
Note: Prime
is pronounced "preem"



Ridgebury Prime Jersey Winners



Award Circumstances


Dan Buckley

Disbursement required to assure American Road Cycling can warrant future Ridgebury results against reporter's tampering.


03/26/05 Doug Allen For his monumental pull behind the front group. READ
04/02/05 Dan Sullivan Per complaint lodged by Iron Mike Norton regarding 03/26/05 results. READ
04/07/05 John Mitchell Winner of Descent Du Paul Writing Contest  
04/09/05 Humberto Cavalheiro Rumpsters witness this major breakaway and immediately implement the Dr. Art Doctrine of Finish Line Fickleness. READ
04/16/05 Patrick Saunders A tactical maneuver of pure genius puts Patrick over the line first on the Rumpsters Ridgebury. READ
04/30/05 Grant Salter Because he whined. READ


Mary Ellen Calandrillo Because she whined. "


Iron Mike Norton Because Dr. Art Whined. "
05/01/05 Dr. John Handago Settlement in theft of likeness lawsuit. "
" Paul Latrine Litigation avoidance. "
" Dr. Art Donohue

Litigation avoidance.

" Twin Lynn Meyer

Litigation avoidance.

" Jimmy Calandrillo

He threatened to kill us, then quit.

05/14/05 Kevin Haley

For being the only man to beat that girl Heather from Skylands up Ridgebury. And yes, there were lots other men on this unscheduled post season prime.

American Road Cycling now decrees the words "that girl Heather" shall ever afterwards be uttered only with a guttural spit and a disgusted smirk. Men don't have to be gay anymore to not like girls. Not that there's anything wrong with it...being gay...nor disliking girls like that girl Heather from Skylands.

" That Girl Heather from Skylands

For being a gentleman's gentleman and allowing Kevin to take the top of Ridgebury one last time.

06/25/05 Jim (The Assassin) Amels

For sheltering The Black Widow and keeping her in the ride.

07/03/05 Joe Straub

Winner of the first annual Straub's Fitness Time Trial (21.7) per Dr. Art Doctrine of Finish Line Fickleness.












this page last updated: 02/01/2015 10:38:50 PM

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